Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Mother Nature is a Bitch

I haven't heard from the New Guy. On an intellectual level, I know he was on a grueling business trip yesterday and it was unlikely I would hear from him. On an emotional level, however, it is an entirely different story. Insecurity, fear, sadness all bubble up uncontrollably as I try to stay focused and rational. I tried calling this morning. No answer. Fear intensifies. What if he never calls back? The forever screening when I call...........I like him. I have been on this rollarcoaster enough times to know the routine. Silly giddiness in the beginning (whee!!!), moments of insecurity and finding footing (ohhhh!), intense first discoveries and disclosures (whee!!!), familiarity and pattern sets in (ohhh!!) It is one of the greatest ironies of Mother Nature, we are wired to find our mate. Once we do, we don't want 'em. All of us have had that moment when something about our mate starts grating on us (one of my friends was telling me how her boyfriend breathes annoys her. I told her it was the beginning of the end when you resent they're taking breath!) Seriously, think about it. How many long term couples do you know that are happy?? How do you sustain happiness in a relationship? Should we be monogamous? Why do we go through this? Is a happy ending possible? Too many question marks for me to be comfortable with. All I know is I WANT it. I WANT him. While waiting for the call which may never come, I will entertain myself by replaying our date Sunday night. Why did I have to babble on and on about my friend that got peed on by the drunk chick he brought home? Why did I feel it necessary to talk about some girl barfing in Sarah's purse and her finding out the 'hard way'..... then running down Doheney with arms up like a surgeon searching for someplace to wipe off the offensive substance.....why did I wear those jeans that were a little too loose....why oh why oh why....

5 comments:

Boy Gorgeous said...

Boy Gorgeous here......I admire honesty. First impressions are very tricky. I wouldn't advise talking about all of the debauchy of your drunken college like friends on the first, maybe even the second date.

LA Woman said...

Maybe if my freinds didn't give me such ample conversational topics...
I just babble. It is bad. At least I didn't volunteer that I am a spaz.

SC said...

I'll agree with BG on this one. I know we give you plenty of drunken stories to retell, but let him know the other side of you at first, like you mentioned inviting him to the art show, that's better than telling him of the time you threw up on the boulevard :)

LA Woman said...

Did NOT barf on the Blvd! I have barfed in other places though....haven't barfed since my surgery.......those pills mixed with booze, ugh!

Duke said...

I don't know that a Happy Ending is possible (except from the massage parlor). If both people can be themselves, it makes it a lot easier. I have a quote, but I can't remember where I got it from.

"I man and a woman meet and fall for each other. The woman thinks about how great he is and how much better he will be as he changes in the future. The man thinks about how great she is and how she will not change. The problems come in the future when the woman changes and man does not."