Baaaa means no...

I have had a lot happen this week, and I have been worked to death. I saw Freakishly Tall Guy for some sex candy. I am a bit worried, I think he may have baited and switched me with the condom.....I have my reasons but will protect you innocents from graphic details. Needless to say, I am flipped out and likely not going to see him again. What is somewhat flattering, Freakishly Tall Guy spent over an hour after I left searching for my blog. To no avail. Friday, went out with Duke, Boobs, Mellow to the Sagebrush. Worst band ever playing...and we got drunk. Mellow's wife has been out of town for a week and he was uncharacteristically dirty. I asked, "come on now, it has only been a week, how bad can it be?" And he replied, "There are some sheep that graze the hill behind my house. Let me just say, they have a worried look on their face." The quote of the evening was Duke's reply, "Mellow, I am going to get you a shirt that says, BAAAA means NO!" Saturday night I had a date with BBFF. I drove to Hunting Beach to meet him at Savannah's. It was a lovely restaurant on the beach. We had a delightful time, filet and pinot. After dinner, I guess I rated date package number 1. He mentioned he had a bottle of wine and blankets in his car and suggested we collect them and hit the beach. We arranged our stuff and talked forever, he was quite funny and seems smitten with me. I told him during the course of our conversation that what I knew about men could fill a thimble. He said it was quite a coincidence, as his manhood could actually fill a thimble. We kissed, and rolled around in the sand..just magical. He whispered in my ear, "I know what you are thinking now?" Yes? "thimble." He was witty and handsome and well..I may be smitten too. I have to say, BBFF is very intruiging to me. To use verbiage from my old sorority days, I may just suicide. Let's see if he feels the same.
AN ASIDE: Happy Father's Day! I called my daddy (yes ChiBird, I still call my dad daddy too) to wish him a Happy Father's Day!!!!! Evidentially, while sucking face with BBFF my phone decided to randomly call him, twice. Guess I left a nice couple of messages for my dad who still thinks I am a virgin. Sweet!

Smitten

I am smitten. This is crazy. It is inappropriate and let me tell you why; I hired him. Well, interviewed him....and gave my thumbs up to his hiring. That is one negative. On the positive side, he is only a contractor so he will be working for me for only three months, then he is FAIR GAME! I spoke to him for over an hour today under the guise of discussing business. This was a calculated move as I know I do MUCH better with guys once they get to know me on a "friend" basis. A few too many drinks one night and then I am looking REALLY good to him. I am mentally mapping my opportunities to maximize my meeting/conversational time with him and to get our drink on. I am crafty like ice is cold, snap! He is a touch younger than I...don't tell him. He lives in Manhattan Beach which might as well be Pluto from where I live. I do not know if the smitteness is mutual yet, but I can tell he is definitely intrigued by me. He has already characterized me as an H.R. nightmare and I happily showed him our employee handbook (there isn't one, that is the joke.) He thinks it is funny I call him "Dawg" and pointed out I am white. He also is a dirty filthy rap fan. He parties, a lot! I am not going to insult the Filthy and Gorgeous Posse by saying I am not calculating. I am working him and he has NO idea. How do we effectively bait our traps? What steps should I take to make this seem like this was his idea to him? I am going to consult Boy Gorgeous and I am sure he will have some interesting suggestions. I am open to yours as well. I don't want to die alone and I really need a vacation so remember these are the desired results. All help is appreciated.