so much for the flow.....

UPDATE: tentative plans with FTG today and I just got this IM;

FTG: hey you - had fun yesterday! poor "happy but unsatisifed whore"! LOL see you soon...

I love the impersonal, hey YOU.....guess we aren't doing anything today. Good for me, going to Venice with AppleBottom anyway.

UPDATE: FTG wanted me to come over at 8. I said no. Tuesday perhaps? Perhaps.......

Chop Wood, Carry Water

Sunday morning and reflecting on my weekend. Friday, had a blast with Freakishly Tall Guy and AppleBottom. First, started over at FTG's house for a little "reunion" if you catch my drift. We hadn't seen each other for a week and a half and had some catching up to do. Interesting going to meet AppleBottom with rope marks on my arms and chest...we also wore the "I've tried Menage a Trois" buttons that AppleBottom gave me as a joke. Don't think she would have given them to me if she thought I would actually wear them. We went to Cafe Cordilaire....ok R&B band and lots of wine. Went to the Chimney Sweep afterward, I was cut off before I even got started there. I got to spend the night at FTG's house. It has been so long since I have slept in someone's arms. I have to say, I really miss it.

Saturday, we slept in, fooled around a couple more times. We went the ABC chick's bday party in Malibu. It was nice to have a +1. The Kittens and The Brads were fun as usual. FTG had to leave early, but I stayed spending a nice relaxing day on the beach with some good company.

I am looking for some odd angle, or a place to insert some acerbic witticism into this story, but I can't find it. It was comfortable being with FTG. I am at center right now. I am not wrestling with any internal turmoil. I am like water and FTG is the rock that I flow over, slowly wearing down. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I am happy to go with the flow for now. I inadvertently smuggled some of Paradise Cove back to the Valley. I am like the Thomas's English Muffin for sand, so many nooks and crannies to hide in! Shower then mourning the weekend. It was a nice one.

Partying with the Gays and bonus! ManTits sighting!

You just know it is going to be a rough day when you wake up burping Kettle One and reek of Camel Lights and lime. Yeah, I am sexxxy like that..... Went to the Abbey with AppleBottom and SuperHotV last night....the usual. Danced our asses off and drank too much. Up too late. Every other song was Lady GaGa a Go Go! She is officially the new gay icon! At the end of the night, we went to the bathroom....a half hour wait in line. Some poor Asian chick barfed in the garbage can, I held her hair. We were almost at the stalls and some dumb bizzy butted to the front of the line and sholder checked AppleBottom. She had NO idea who she was messing with! AppleBottom stepped up on her and let her ghetto side show and threatened to kick her ass. I created a human barrier in between them, I think she actually would have. Best part, dumb bizzy dropped her Prada bag in the garbage can accidentally on the way out. She fished it out and there was vomit dripping off of it. Everyone in line just laughed and taunted her refusing to help her. "Karma is a bitch!" one yelled at her. V's husband met us there after work. I think it is so cool when guys are comfortable enough with themselves to go to a gay bar, he was even hit on! We had a great time! Unfortunately, it is 6 PM on Sunday and I still feel like shit. AppleBottom texted me this morning, "I feel like shit. I didn't get da memo im 2 old 4 dis shit. lol!" Well put sissy. Lessons learned from last night; A. we are too old for this shit B. Don't fuck with AppleBottom, she will cut you bitch! and C. when at a gay bar, tell them you are transgendered and you will sue if they don't let you use the men's room.

ManTits sighting! My dogs just went bananas barking out the window....ManTits is walking in front of my building holding hands with a chick! And she is not fat or wearing mom jeans. All I can say to her is, you'll be sorry..........and also not getting any. ManTits can't get it up.

UPDATE: Greatest text ever from AppleBottom, "need to delete the pic of me licking the gay boy's nipple. Good ammo in the custody battle." LOL!

Only mildly agitated (cannot afford shaken or stirred)

I am a baller on a budget, and this week has been a good one for the recessionista that I have (had to) become. Wednesday, AppleBottom and I had cocktails with another friend, who expensed the check! (Who has an expense account these days?) Friday, we went dancing at Cafe Cordilaire with AppleBottom and KnittingFriend. The club looks like the painting from the beginning of Good Times, we were the only white people there. Band was off the chain! Everything from Fitty Cent to Curtis Mayfield (I went bananas!) When the bill came, this rather large black man took care of it for us. I grabbed AppleBottom's ass and thanked her delicious booty for the free drinks...over a hundos worth! Saturday was my company Angles game. Again, AppleBottom, KnittingFriend, SuperHotV all accompanied me. This is the only day of the year I get to boss my boss, "Put some cheese on that burger NOW, bitch!" We tailgated and missed most of the game. Boss's best friend (BBFF) started chatting me up. We got kicked out of the park and ended up at some sports bar in OC. Had a blast....great people, great conversation is my thing. When I got home, I noticed that my OfficeManager was blowing up my phone, BBFF was begging her for my number, "love at first sight" he said. I told her to go ahead and give it to him. He called and we talked until 3 am...potentially career ending. What will go down as the Worst Idea Ever, I am going to go out with him.

oh Baby Baby

Last night I reconnected with one of my very best friends from high school. She is more gorgeous than I remember and honestly, one of the smartest people I have ever known. I hate that I suck so badly at keeping in touch with people, but Facebook has been pretty cool for making up for years of my laziness. I am so overjoyed to have had a chance to talk to her. She did drop a bomb shell, she just found out she is pregnant. And she is 6 1/2 months along.....she thought she was going thru menopause. Hell, so did I last year so it sounds reasonable to me. I am just happy that at this stage in the game we are still able to get some ass! Yay us! Babies mean one thing to me, knitting! I am talking to Latin Lover about it today;

spankie: yay, little things to knit!!
Latin Lover: pfft, get knitting for the thousands of potential children that will die on your face when Freakishly Tall Guy takes you to a swing party.
spankie: that's a lot of little beanies

Of course, he went there. I am off to have some cocktails at Senior Freds with AppleBottom and a potential new member of the Filthy and Gorgeous Posse. My chance at killing thousands of potential human beings thrwarted by my broken Cookie.

PS. one day I am going to figure out this Photo Shop thingy, until then, just picture the sperms in little knit caps! Thank you for using your imagination!