Friday, April 20, 2007
The Mouse is Dead
Single Dad is turning out to be quite a weirdo. We chatted last Saturday where he seemed normal and somewhat cool. We chatted, briefly, yesterday morning when it started to appear that he is a bit of a freak; "My BEAUTIFUL Kat! I missed you soooooo baaaddddddddd! Did you stay sweet? Honey, schmoopy, baby......." I am not a schmoopy girl. Certainly not with someone I have had two brief conversations with. This is too much too fast and it is freakin' me out. Boy Gorgeous and I were discussing this relating a recent "Come to Jesus" convo he had with one of his chicks. It is best in the beginning to play your cards close to your vest. This way, the mark reads into the silence what they want to see there. Their imagination allows them to insert their own frame of reference into the gap thus creating the ideal mate. To illustrate this, let's use Single Dad. He is spazzy and I am reading this as desperation and insincerity. Now, had he approached me Dragnet style (just the facts mam) I would view him as cool, together and possible relationship material. Because he is volunteering all of this over the top bullshit, he has eliminated my ability to fantasize about him. There is no mystery. It is all on the table and that is no fun. My friend Tania used to say, "cats don't play with dead mice." The thrill is in the chase and discovery. If we are already at this crescendo where is left to go in a relationship? The only place is down I tell you. I am suspicious of anyone that serves their emotions up so readily.
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4 comments:
I have actually seen a cat play with a dead mouse. One of my cats (when I was much younger) killed a small mouse and was amusing itself by flinging it in the air and swatting it down. Other than the saying being false, the message behind it is good.
I don't know about this line of reasoning. You keep talking about wanting an honest relationship and now you're talking about the "thrill of the chase" like a collage boy. It's one or the other sweetie. I'm not saying you have to trade DVD-ROMs of personal material on each other on the first date and decide then and there whether to go straight to Vegas, but if you're serious about finding a "grown-up" relationship you need to approach it more seriously and less like a 3-week fuck. Either you really want to get to know this person and thier quirks or you don't.
NOT the same thing SS! As you may recall, I was a communications theory major at a leading university. Divulging too much info too soon can be as disasterous to a relationship as never opening up at all. In a "normal" relationship development phase, it is like a delicate dance where you build trust.....I tell you something, you match the intensity of what I told you and tell me something. When someone feels the need to skip this and go directly to schmoopy, that is a huge Red Flag to me! I haven't earned the sweeties and hunnybunnies he so easily throws around. Rings hollow to me and signifies he is not relationship material. You can give this so quickly, you can take it away just as quickly because there is no foundation to support it. MY .02. Not to mention, it is pretty creepy.
My opinion falls between yours and that of Senor Smooth.
You can't play the games of what you should reveal, what you should hold back, when not to call, ect. We're all too old for that shit. Just let things happen naturally, and if you click, you click, if not, next.
However, I do agree with you when someone you just started talking to starts calling you baby, sweetie, and "schmoopy" when you haven't even met face to face. So you're right to notice the red flag. I wouldn't say he's not relationship material, just that he's way too clingy and needy. Next!
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