Sunday, April 22, 2007

Broken Gaydar

Sunday morning. Dogs chomping at the bit to go outside, me nursing a fat cup of very black and thick coffee and reflecting on Saturday night. Sexual Chocolate had a bbq yesterday afternoon. Regular cast of characters there; Duke, Boobalicious, the Cheap Guy (that stuck me with the tab last time he went out with us), Cool Ron and the rest of the SC posse. Good peeps. SC is pretty proficient in the kitchen and around the grill. (I am somewhat pissed he has never invited me over for dinner before! Now that I know the kid has skills believe me I will be pushing this issue.) Unfortunately, I had to blow out of the bbq early as I was going to the Dodger's game with Boy Gorgeous and the Trainer followed by a trip to the comedy club in Hollywood to see one of their hometown boys perform in a satiric political round table discussion. We got to the Trainer's house and decided to bag the Dodger game due to the chilly weather (what a bunch of pussies we are, we are all from the Midwest!) We hung out for a bit discussing everything from Hepatitis C to homemade tattoos.....salmonella to moisturiser (the Trainer is a former construction worker turned metro sexual). We then went to the comedy club to watch a bunch of uninformed Liberal bleeding hearts bash our American way of life. Pointing fingers at those of us who drive sport utilities (which I do) and keep the machine of capitalism working by consuming the latest and greatest gadgets (which I do), blaming us for the "war on oil"......actually made me angry. BG leaned over and was like, "I like stuff. Why is that wrong?" I replied that was why we lived here and not Iran to which we clinked our glasses in a conservative band of superiority to the Liberals that, admittedly, would be riding their bikes home from the club. (oh yeah, well I hope your moral indignation keeps you warm on the long cold bike ride home.....me, I will be rolling in the Infinity sport utility with my heated leather seats hugging my ass. by the way, pull another bong why don't you!) Moreover, do we not have a moral obligation to step in and crush a regime which uses gang rape as a method of controlling their population, horrific torture.......let's get real, Saddam is a bad guy and did bad things to innocent people. Protecting our way of life, sending a message to potential terrorists and standing up for people that are so disenfranchised they cannot do that for themselves is not a war for oil. Our government, the war, not perfect but there is nowhere better to live on the planet than here. I will get off my soap box now......so my mojo is so broken, I ended up speaking with a comedian for the rest of the evening and I thought we were getting along very well. I was surprised when at the end of the night, he didn't ask for my number. In the car, BG and the Trainer commented on how gay he was. Gay!??!? A. how could I have missed that and B. why didn't they tell me I was wasting my time and my A material on a gay man?? I am going to get ready....going to a punk rock knitting event at my LY S (local yarn store for those of you unfamiliar with knitting terminology) and then watch the Red Sox game with Skeptic. I am not even hoping for sex.

1 comment:

sc said...

Cheap Guy wasn't there, his absence was part of the reason for the BBQ. Thanks for coming by, and I have no problem making dinner every now and then, I'd enjoy the company.

Don't think of it as wasting your A-game material on a guy who bats for the other team, just think of it as practice...you're able to practice your material, and don't have to worry if you're saying something dumb or have spinach in your teeth, as hot as you are, he's still not going to want to go home with you.