Friday, April 13, 2007
There is a false sense of security when you go out with married men. As friends, really. I just had dinner with someone I love very much, the Vice President. We have been friends since I moved out here. Genuine friends. We met through our jobs, and over the years we have talked about EVERYTHING in our lives. I won't lie when I say that at some point, maybe about two years ago, I felt the energy change from friendship to.....well, I dunno, something different. There is an undeniable attraction between us. I have morals as Duke will lament...I was raised with a strict sense of right and wrong which keeps me from acting on this attraction. I have never messed with a married man (I should say knowingly, there was that college professor that told me his wife was his "roommate" when I picked him up from his house one time. Imagine my surprise when I saw his wedding picture with his "roommate" on the desk of a mutual friend. He called me Mariposa and read me Kahil Gibran. Sigh.) The VP's life is perfect, from the outside. He has become wildly successful since I have known him and is loving his life. He is currently living the American Dream...sort of. I would kill to live his family life. For him, something is missing. We had such a great time at dinner and it was very difficult to say goodnight. I RAN home. I didn't trust myself to do the right thing this time. I was picturing the angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other whispering naughty things in my ear. Believe me when I tell you, the devil was making a heap of sense to me tonight. As I type, I find myself smelling his cologne on my hands......I am having a hard time shaking it off. Is it true what they said in When Harry Met Sally, women and men cannot be friends? Is it true that men are always looking to score with their female "friends"? Is the opposite true; I am DRIPPING wet right now and my clit is the size of a walnut. I cannot see him again soon. Unfortunately, we don't just connect on a physical level. I am afraid if I see him again I will not be able to run away........would be so easy to run toward someone. Messing with a married man would be a recipe for disaster for me. Good thing I didn't take one of his multiple job offers............I am supposed to be going to Hollywood with BG soon. Think I am going to take a pass and just go to bed, by myself. Again. Would be the same if I were dating the married guy. Cold and lonely.