Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Buttercup


I need to get a life. I have a blog about dating and I cannot get a date to save my life. It is pitiful really. So, to bide my time I have conversations about the dog fighting scandal such as this;


spankie: i feel so strongly about this....i am willing to place a little bet

sexual chocolate: that if the charges are dropped, he'll play again?

spankie: not feeling so confident with ten bucks on the line huh? money....mouth

sexual chocolate: I'm saying for some reason they are dropped his career isn't over

spankie: they will NOT be dropped

sexual chocolate: hypothetically, stranger things have happened

spankie: what if i got a pony tomorrow....want to speculate on that? just as likely

sexual chocolate: if you get a pony tomorrow, I'll give you ten bucks

spankie: i will name her buttercup and brush her mane daily. i will love her and pandora will be SO JEALOUS that she plots against the pony. she will tear up my favorite stuff and plant it on buttercup

sexual chocolate: it's funny because it's true

spankie: i will find horse poop (carefully placed by pandora) on my pillow. she will teach buttercup to say "whoooreeeeee" anytime i approach (in a whinny sort of way) i will come to the stable and buttercup will be wearing my bustier. Using my electric toothbrush, drinking my LAST beer.

sexual chocolate: you're crazy
It is official. I need to get laid. My fantasy life is revolving around a pony and not a donkey.

5 comments:

HottieEsq said...

All we need to do is just date each other. We can buy a compound where the kids and dogs and us can live and frolic and we will bring in boys as our playthings. And when the do is done, we will bite off their heads praying mantis style and craft something more useful out of the rest of their bodies.
I'm really over the boys today.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally down for that. Not the whole biting the head off thing, but dating each other? Hell yes. I'll bring the camera.

Unknown said...

Ouch!

Not a really good solution there.

LA Woman said...

Duke, remember when I re-purpose your body parts and macrame a plant holder out of your sinewy tissues you will not have a say. I think it sounds like an awesome idea. SC, you won't be able to operate a camera when I cut off your hands, decoupage them and turn them into an ashtray.

Anonymous said...

Damn, why you gotta get all violent? I'm just looking for a little girl-on-girl action.