Post Christmas hangover.....too much partying, too much food, too much "quality" family time, too many bills. I blew so much cash I will have to date for food after this holiday season. Right now, I just want to sit and savor the silence of my single life in my squalid apartment. Initially, going into the holiday, I was sitting on the pity pot. I will admit, I was feeling sorry for myself that I would be, once again, single for another Christmas. Going downtown Chicago, watching couples hold hands and look at the department store windows only exacerbated my sense of isolation. A funny thing happened over my vacation, I got to hang out with my married friends. They are all more or less unhappy in their relationships and are living vicariously through me. One of my friends, Chip was questioning me about my "relationship intelligence" and determined that I am at least seven years away from being able to commit to anyone (his methodology was arbitrary, drunk and unscientific at best. I took this with a grain of salt.) One of my best friends took it a step further and questioned weather or not marriage is ever a desired outcome. These people have what I have been aiming for as my "golden ticket" and they are miserable. I am free. I am dating great men. I am having fun. I do not have to deal with men's fucked up bullshit. I kiss. I have amazing sex. Can it be that wrong? I do what I want, when I want. This is really making me sit down and take stock of my goals and objectives. What am I striving for here? I have great friends. I have a family that I cherish. I have men that love my company and take me out......I have mind blowing sex. Are we really meant to partner with one person? As I mulled that concept today while travelling back to LA I got three sets of digits en route. Maybe this was the gift I have been looking for all of my adult life. The realization that it is great to be single. My life doesn't suck. Among the many tangible gifts I lugged through ORD and LAX I brought a light and highly portable epiphany; I am in a great place. I hope my Filthy and Gorgeous posse knows how much I appreciate them on a daily basis. I don't have to wait for Christmas to receive presents, I am blessed every single day of the year. I love you guys. Merry Christmas!