Saturday, July 18, 2009

Giving myself the yellow card

I'm back in the whorey saddle after my unfortunate experience with Minty Tingles. I am officially addicted to Sex Crack...aka Freakishly Tall Guy. Last weekend was an insane blurr of drunken activities with the Filthy and Gorgeous Posse and filthy sex. Saturday I had a 3some with Freakisly Tall Guy and the Sadist. What an intense experience. Hard to know where to focus, there was so much going on. During the process, I did stop to think how grateful I was that I had gone back to the gym so I could keep up! Freakishly Tall Guy was incredibly attentive and protective of me. It is weird to feel so cared for in such a filthy scenario. It is also odd to feel so proud of my "accomplishment" after being complimented for my performance. Saturday nights activities were follow by a naked pool party on Sunday. Never in my life did I imagine I would be trotting around naked, watching people do filthy sex acts while eating a cheeseburger. It is surreal. Boundaries crossed, skin bruised, taboos broken.....if life is a buffet as Auntie Mame claims, I certainly am not starving to death. I am more worried about gout.

The challenge will be not to get attached to him. During these intense situations one does make connections. I am like a dude in that I can separate sex and emotion but this is different. He has made it clear he has no interest in having more of a relationship and will not stop seeing other girls. He had a little freak out on me this week sensing I was developing feelings. We went out with my best lesbians last night and had a wonderful time. I need to step back and reaccess my situation. I am going to get hurt, badly.

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