Thursday, June 14, 2007
Monday, I saw the movie Knocked Up with Sexual Chocolate and it got me to thinking.....when the hell was my last period? I mean, I cannot remember and this movie fed all of my fears about getting hooked up for life with a loser. In my movie, he is a loser when I meet him and an even bigger loser when I get to know him. No happy ending here. If you want to raise some eyebrows, do what I just did. I just went across the street to the grocery store and bought a pregnancy test. On my way to the check out, I grabbed a six pack (a girl has to pee right??) Finally when I get up to the clerk I ask for a pack of cigs. The black chick behind me looks at my stuff, looks at me, looks at my stuff, cuts me a look. The unmistakable stink eye!! The clerk had about the same reaction, beer (beep), pregnancy test (beep, glance up, pause, connecting dots), request for cigarettes (condescending scowl). I wanted to scream, "Oh yeah, I could be my baby's mamma....but I am not gonna keep it! It has a date with a drain!!!" But I didn't. I hung my head and felt the burn of judgement on the back of my head. I mean, why do the commercials for pregnancy tests always show a happy woman (with a wedding ring, ALWAYS. Start looking for it and you will see what I mean. Diaper commercials too.) over the moon because she peed on a stick and got a happy face. Bun in the oven, Yay!!! I mean, in reality it is someone like me.....chugging beer, chain smoking and making deals with God....please please please noooooooooo!!!! I don't want to be stuck with this douche bag for the rest of my life!! This would not be a joyful event for me. I may go sacrifice a chicken prior to peeing on a stick. Can't hurt to play both sides. Wish me luck.