Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Love, Sex and Ninjas
Day two no water....the saga continues. I have not showered since I got a little sugar in my bowl on Monday. As one might imagine, it is unpleasant to be around me. Eau de Two-Day-Old-Sex is not good for daytime. Sounds French, smells even Frencher. I have had to cancel meetings yesterday and today. Most disappointing as I was to have lunch with my buddy, SalesRep, that is getting a mail order bride. Yup, just got back from the Philippines and said some lucky lady would have a ring by the end of the year. God bless him, I wish it were that easy for me. SalesRep will be happy spending the rest of his life with a little spinner that cooks and cleans for him. Again, I envy that men are such easy to please creatures. Los Angeles is a fucked up place for men too, I sometimes forget. SalesRep is a catch by any standard. He is handsome, kind, hard working, successful and a wonderful father. He can't get a date to save his life. I am bummed I will not be getting the details of the process or see pictures of his soon to be beloved today. Instead, I will sit here and continue to stew in my own juices.
UPDATE: I did in fact get that shower and bounce to lunch with SalesRep. I saw pictures of his bride to be, very pretty girl. He seems so happy and excited! Of course, I had to ask if he got to test drive, which he did. Bringing a chick back from the Philippenes is somewhat like ripping the tag off a mattress, there is no taking that shit back. Hope it works out for him I was telling Mr. MBA about this and he said that I have got to stop my friend from going back in a couple of months. They will be waiting for him and he will wake up in a hotel bathtub, covered in ice, sans kidney with a phone taped to his hand, 911 on speed dial. Mr. MBA thinks that is what I should write about, make a movie where he goes on a murderous rampage to get back his kindney. He is convinced it has EVERYTHING, love, sex....and ninjas. You gotta have ninjas.....I think I will stick with writing about my vagina (vagninja? there is a joke there somewhere...)