Friday, August 10, 2007

Can I have some Porno with that pie-oh?

I almost had a porno moment last night. I ordered pizza and told the delivery guy to call my cell when he got here. He called and told me he would be here in two minutes. I noted the time and intended to go down to the gate when he said he would be here. I heard him at the gate yelling, "hello! Pizza here!" and went down to collect my pie. He was a pretty hot Hispanic guy, heavily manscaped and very young. He looked a lot like Dave Navarro. Muscles bulging out from under his uniform. I said, " are you always this fast?" and he replied, "only when delivering pizzas. I take my time when I do other things." Our eyes locked and we had a moment. In my head I heard "bum chicka bao bao" playing. I wonder if that is why that kid took that job. Do men really think that the situations in porno could actually come true? Do they come true? I had a boyfriend that watched a lot of porn and I think it ruined actual sex for him as it never lived up to his expectations (by the way, he was a virgin and I popped his cherry. Kind of embarassing to admit you didn't live up to the expectations of a virgin. He looked like Fabio.) I also think that the kind of porn you look at says a lot about you. The Psycho liked REALLY filthy porn, a lot. When I looked at those pictures, they did NOTHING for me; trashy women with really huge boobs invariably shoving something weird into their deep cavernous hole. The pictures sort of grossed me out and thus, The Psycho by association. Don't get me wrong, I am not anti-porn. I find it interesting to see what people find titillating. Most interesting to me are the "stories" used as a venue to show these images. I mean, is that the best they can come up with? Pizza delivery guys, cops and the like? I think more women should get into writing/producing porn. Inside my head, the porn is much more interesting.

4 comments:

sc said...

So tell us, how did the scene with Rico Suave the pizza delivery boy play out in your mind?

LA Woman said...

maybe that is my calling. I should try my hand at writing a porno. In my mind, I get the pizza free.

Senor Smooth said...

You know the psychology of it; women are titilated by stories and men by visuals. That's why guys can look at still pictures and get turned on while women can get turned on by text. The fact is that you don't even need to make a whole video to turn on women is why these "bodice ripping" romance novels are so popular. To most chicks they're as good as porn; even better maybe because they don't have quite the trashy connotations. Do kid yourself, the market for romance novels is massive and although it doesn't make as much as guy porn it does make mucho dough. I dated this chick that would get so turned on if I emailed her a raunchy narrative she would come home from work in the middle of the day to do me. If that wasn't an option she'd masterbate at work! Yummy.

Duke said...

For some reason, whenever porn is mentioned at work, everyone turns to me. So with that being said, let me know if you need any help...I guess I'm an expert or something like that.

If you need a camera man, SC is pretty good with stills and I can run a video cam. WE are all here to help you out, give you the support you need for this venture.