So I am down. I am very very down. I rarely get depressed but this last weekend, I did not leave my house. I wore the same "Chicago" shirt and sweat pants all weekend and ate nothing but carbs. Seriously, Friday I ate Mac and Cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing and cornbread for lunch. I came home and ate a box of croutons for dinner. I made a batch of brownies, and ate them all. Pretty much kept the pace for the rest of the weekend. I find solice in carbs. I watched reality TV all weekend and knitted. I had plans with Boy Gorgeous Saturday night and met him at the grocery store to pick up some wine. He suggested we go out instead until I unzipped my jacket and he saw the "Chicago" shirt, with tooth paste dripped down the front, some rice caked on and a big coffee stain on my belly area. "Jesus Kat, you look like a crack head!!" He did drag me out for dinner, but I insisted on coming home directly from the restaurant. Admittedly, I was not much fun. Saw San Fran last week when he was in town for business. It was OK. I have a date with Skeptic tonight. He is making me dinner. I have requested fish sticks and tater tots (more carbs!!). He seemed stoked that I am so low maintenance. Ultimately, my itch is here (imagine me reaching out with my left hand to it's extreme extension) and my scratch is over here (mirror image with my right hand). My emotional needs are not being met and I see no relief in sight. I wish dating was like knitting, all the little "v"s stacked neatly on top of one another. By following a pattern you know you are creating something long lasting and will fit. There is something very graceful and poetic about the repetition and predictability of knitting. Perhaps that is why I am clutching my needles and holding on for dear life. It is one thing that I can control.