Thursday, February 15, 2007

ch-ch-ch-changes

Dating as you get older really sucks. I am thinking about this a lot as my birthday is just around the corner. I squandered my youth. I was oblivious to the power a hot, tight bodied twenty year old possesses. My last heartbreak, when the Cracker (my age, out of shape...OK pudgy guy) dumped me for a uber hot 22yr old actress. Rubbed my nose into this fact and crushed me. My skin isn't as elastic at it used to be, nor are my joints.....literally limping around since my last weekend of shagging. What scares me is how rigid I have become with my life. I just want things my way....I don't want to be beholden to anyone. Our quirks and idiosyncrasies become more defined and refined as we age. I haven't lived with anyone for over five years. Am I capable of sharing a space with another person at this point? If so, is he? Mantits was so entrenched in his misogynist bullshit that toward the end I told him he should run for president of the He Man Woman Hater's Club. That is not going to change. The Psycho wanted to surf filthy porn morning noon and night. That is not going to change. The Jew whined, a lot. That is not going to change. I like/need the WHOLE closet. That is not going to change. Are those of us who are 30 somethings (perpetually 29 in my case) and still single doomed to die alone? Maybe the better question is how do we stay open and agile? Unfortunately, my heart isn't as forgiving as it used to be in my misspent youth. Every time I try to bounce back it changes ever so slightly.

1 comment:

Duke said...

Well, I don't quite know what to say here, other than you'll always have your friends. The dating part is not easy and the getting older is never going to change...although I do firmly believe you're only as old as you think you are. You know you can always count on your friends to be here for you. You have various friends offering to help you with many different aspects of your life. Don't be afraid to call on them.