Friday, May 29, 2009

Who's that sleeping in my bed?

I have a date tonight with the Silver Fox. This has been a very busy week for the girl here vis a vis whoring around. Some days, I feel more like Goldilocks than others...this one is too hard, this one is too soft......while I search for Mr. Just Right, I seem to be stuck with Mr. Just Right Now. I'm chatting with my buddy Latin about one depraved individual. Freakishly Tall Guy has told me to be at his house Monday at 8 PM, sharp. As I posit about what degrading and (possibly) herpes inducing plans he has for me, Latin Lover gets more and more aroused. I told him it is all fun and games until I wake up in Mexico starring in a donkey show. That "tickles his pickle" and has left our chat hanging while he goes into the bathroom at work and rubs one out. We agree that sometimes fantasy should just stay that way, the reality of the situation never living up to the images conjured up in our heads. Like the Friends episode where Ross has a 3some and ends up making a sandwich. Latin Lover notes, "there are just too many variables and it would just be disappointing." I can imagine a pile of awkward limbs at odd angles. Being the graceful gazelle that I am there is no other outcome possible. So, sigh, back to the fishing pond. Perhaps the Silver Fox and Goldilocks will be "just right." Latin Lover, "try not to suck any dicks on the way to your date!" Oh, I'll try.


Latin Lover said...

One, may I just say I love the whole, goldilocks and the bears? ok, I love the whole goldilocks and the bears picture. Such imagery and well... a perverted mind knows where to take it.

The trip to the bathroom was quite excellent I may add.

Regardless, I actually do want to say something, there isn't anyone that is going to be Mr. Just Right, you just have to find that whom you could see yourself dying next to, friendship or not.

The issue becomes how you deal with, well, how much of a whore you are. See, Mr Just Right, is probably a person that will not be able to deal with that, but will be able to fulfill every single one of your stupid needs as a human (and I don't mean stupid as in you're stupid, I mean as our stupid needs as humans, with love, care, trust, communication, masturbation, etc). That the extreme stuff just, well, isn't there. You can usually find the opposite, but at that point well, you deal with other issues, and those stupid needs, and half the time those relationships never last.

But don't worry, I, like you, am looking for the right whore for me to end up with the rest of my life, and hope that she's as perverted, depraved, filthy, and slutty as I want to be with her.

I have a feeling I might die alone, and I am ok with it.


You better not be sucking a cock right now

chibird said...

You rock! are hilarious and so true to "real" life...I thought I had all of the crazies...but we might be in the running LOL Keep on writing...It's fresh!