I'm having a very New Age moment and I am about to make myself barf. I've had a great day, I'm actually feeling that once familar feeling "happiness" today. The thing I found most remarkable about this was how I experienced other people; as happy.
I am going through theraputic hypnosis and he had me do a visualization Monday. I was to visualize standing in a fallow field of dirt. Desolate, devoid of any life whatsover. I pulled a flag out of the dirt which had my name on it and walked over an imaginary line in the dirt into a lush landscape. I planted my flag there. I felt the lovely breeze washing over me and the dappled sunlight on my skin. I did a yoga pose, my favorite balance pose, Tree Pose. I was so peaceful and full of light and love. A tear fell down my cheek.
Today I have been reminded of how I was actually intended to be in the world. I am a light and source of happiness to many. I bring food and company to my old lady neighbor. First on the scene with ice cream, movies and jammies to my friend that just broke off a relationship. Julie MacCoy socially on my Love Boat bringing so many different people together that eventually become friends. Beloved daughter. Star employee. Best friend. True love.
In my complete selfishness I hurt myself but today I realize just how much I have hurt others that have come to depend on me and love me. I am coming back from the darkness.