Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Talk Dirty to Me

Words have power. Any one of the Filthy and Gorgeous posse knows this to be true for our girl Kat. I have dumped a guy for using the word "tummy" over dinner conversation. I have refused to reply to a man that wanted me to give him a "sensual massage." It occurs to me that we do not have the proper vocabulary to talk about relationships, let alone sexual ones. Eskimos have something like forty words to describe snow and in English....how many to describe love, sex and all of the wonderful things that go hand in hand? Too few so we have to improvise. HottieEsq went on date four with The Jew last night. We all know what date four is..however, she did not put out. For The Jew, apparently verbal foreplay included dropping his FICO score over dinner (780, btw) and using the phrase, "making love" to entice her into his bed. The irony was that it was his FICO score that got her hot and the description of the act that got her cold. It is a delicate balance between clinical and juvenile...FICO vs. fucko. Mr. MBA dated a school teacher that would call his dick his "pee pee" in the throes of passion. Yup, she was short lived. The Writer was telling me he would crack up when this woman he dated would yell out that she was "worshipping his magnificent erection." I suspect the exalted erection would wane with such praise, proud yet sensitive as they tend to be. I have had men ask if I would have "intercourse" with them. Flashes of the cold steel table at my gyno and the icy cold metal duck bills he shoves up in me come to mind with that word. I have said this before; I would have much greater respect for the man that tells me he wants to crank some Zeppelin, spank my ass and then fuck me like the bitch that I am. THAT has power....
Today's homework is let me know which words turn you off...and turn you ON....

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