Body Temple day one

I failed. Miserably day one. Drank to retardation. Again. Sissy made me promise I would go to the gym and work out my anger, disappointment and frustration. I promised. I lied. I am currently ripshit drunk. Skeptic called tonight. I hate myself for folding like I did. I like him a lot more than I would ever let on to anyone...except for the Filthy and Gorgeous posse. Shhhhh, please don't tell him. I humiliated myself enough to myself and to him tonight. I actually do like him a lot. Not as a lover, but a friend. I know he will be a great friend. He knows it which is why he reaches out to me and spills.....we are destined to be great friends. Not lovers. Sucks to be me. Thank God for the Rabbit.