San Diego

I am exhausted and I am beginning another hell week of work. I spent the weekend with Boy Gorgeous exploring San Diego. He noted that the two of us, with a pile of cash in the Gas Lamp district is a very dangerous combination. Friday night, we went to the Del Mar racetrack to see one of my favorite bands play, Cake. It was crowded and expensive. We couldn't really see the band let alone hear them. Somewhat disappointing and I dropped $150 bucks. Awoke Saturday morning and went to breakfast....at 8am $2 bloody Mary's were sounding pretty good. We drank a couple of those, then proceeded to bar hop having a beer at each bar. We ended up at a place called the Bitter End. There was some kid there about to ship off to Iraq
(I seriously got emotional, he looked like a BABY) and we decided some shots of Petron were in order. In the meantime, the bartender was a raging BITCH. I made a joke about fist fighting BG after doing a shot and the bartender cut me off. It was a JOKE sister! She then went off on a long diatribe about what the responsibilities of being a professional bartender are and how seriously she takes them. To the Filthy and Gorgeous Posse; in the event I ever start taking myself that seriously, just bitch slap me. You aren't saving lives here lady! Of course, I began to get lippy, told BG that I would be tipping her .99 which was a waste of .99. She was the WORST bartender ever, and she overheard me saying so. We decided to bounce and as I was paying the bill, I felt a tap on my shoulder from security asking if I had a problem with the bill (which I was in the process of signing) and I said no, I had a problem with the bartender. He politely asked us to leave, funny because that was just what we were doing at the time. Dumb bitch cost herself a bit .99. They should call the bar the Bitter Bitch instead of the Bitter End. We began to walk back to where we were staying and the Petron started kicking in for both of us. We decided a nap was in order so we could meet Sexual Chocolate out later. We went back about 6pm and took a nap, waking up at 1:30 in the morning. We accidentally blew SC off for which I sincerely apologize. Sunday morning we went for breakfast when I tallied up the cost of the weekend; $80 dog sitter, $100 bucks train fare, $100 bucks cash gone, $150 bucks spent at Del Mar, $80 bucks at the Bitter Bitch, $400 lost sunglasses and there were some other various expenses along the way. Will have to pace myself on these San Diego weekends, my wallet and most importantly my liver, cannot handle too many of them. My diet starts today as well as my alcohol rehabilitation program.

you know how your people are.....

It is nine pm and I am still hung over from the first Sip and Stitch at Lucy's 511 in Burbank last night. It was worth it as I have found my kindred spirits in HottieEsq and Knitstah. You know who you are. I am trying the hair of the dog treatment and it is NOT helping. I feel sicker and sicker with every tick of the clock. So last night was quite interesting for me on an intellectual level. I guess racism is alive and well which I find shocking. A four billion pound woman showed up to our knitting group last night and was talking to HottieEsq. Evidently, the quote of the night was, "you know how your people are." HottieEsq was chatting the big piggish woman up and at one point looked at me and stated, "Wow. She is quite the racist." Later, the Racist pulled a large, white, triangular knitted item from her knitting bag and I commented to HottieEsq, "look, she is knitting a hood!" I stopped by the knitting store today and the Racist was there. I really wanted to stay and say something to the effect of, "I cannot believe a woman of your size can muster the energy to knit. Shouldn't you be laying in bed ordering carry out? Eating five whole chickens wrapped in bacon? You know how your people are." I didn't as I was too hung over to be cutting and clever. Next time she is mine. Bank on it. HottieEsq brought a cool boy, Mr. NBC. I have a commitment from Boy Georgeous to show up for the next knitting night. Love knitting, love boys more.

Speaking of boys, San Fran just called and really wants to see me. I know, I know...he is a retarded (now unemployed) asshole but I like him.And I am horny. And he is hung. Plus I would love to see my uncle that owns Image Leather (biggest leather shop in San Francisco and the rest of the world)

Ahhhhhh........

Day seven of sobriety is over......I waited until 9 and cracked a bottle of Merlot I got wine tasting with the Doc in Passe Robles a couple of weekends ago. I hate to admit this, but upon the first sip.......ahhhhh. I feel like a circuit has been completed in my body. Tequilia is the control alt del of reality but wine is like the satin sheets, the luxurious lotion, the cashmere sweater. It makes it all worthwile to slip into the peppery, cherry, long oaky finish of a good bottle of wine. I am still sick, but I don't care right now. Boy Gorgeous and the Metro called me and wanted me to come party tonight with them in Santa Monica. Facing the world was not an option tonight. I was tempted as I am looking pretty cute, I am wearing my new Slutty Holly Hobby dress today. I know the boys love me. I guess last Friday when I went out with BG and the Metro I commented on the Metro's new facial hair. I saw him and immediately asked him what the fuck he was thinking??? I commented that he looked like a terrorist and he is way too good looking to hide under that nasty, hairy brush he called a beard. According to BG, the Metro was horribly self conscious for the rest of the evening and shaved within hours of coming home Ha! Ok, enough of this. I am going to go back to my sofa and sip on my glass of ruby red ambrosia and nurse myself back to either health or drunkenness.

Bar Star!

Over hump day, Praise Jesus! Tuesday was another day trip to Vegas and yesterday, drove over 400 miles between 6:30 when I left and 7:30 pm when I got home. I am genuinely dog tired. I will overcome the fatigue because I have earned my Thursday night happy hour! Boy Gorgeous, Mr. Fantastic and Sexual Chocolate are all going to help ease in the holiday weekend with me tonight at Mr. F's "place" El Torito at the Galleria. (place is in quotes because BF and I give Mr. F loads of shit for having a chain restaurant as your "place". My place is Firefly or Stanleys.....we could even rock the Pineapple Hill or Chimmney sweep. Not like I am saying, hey let's go to my "place," you know McDonalds on the blvd.) I love my boys and don't get to spend as much time with them as we once did. Sigh, stupid jobs get in the way.

Moment of note this week, my friend Dragon Lady sent me this text;

I had a check up 2 day. I tested positive 4 sexy! I'm allergic 2 haters. My blood type is baller. And dats y I'm hot!

*LOVE* her! I have to say, I love black women. I wish I had the confidence and sass that most of the black women I have known have. Dragon Lady certainly fits my "racial profiling" of black women. Strong, beautiful, independent, confident.......what a cool chick! Snaps to my sis that I know lurks around the Dating Misanthrope hallways. Love you girl!

Other moment of the week, my boss missed his train out of Santa Barbara yesterday so we went wine tasting in Backwards country. I bought two matching t-shirts that say; "Be Happy! Drink Pinot Noir" and have a giant happy face on the front with a red pinot mustache. I will be sending the larger one to my dad for Father's Day but the REAL gift will be when I go visit him next and go wine tasting in the foothills. We will be ROCKING our matching Daddy/Daughter shirts which should be quite embarrassing for him. There will be much humiliation and many many incriminating pictures. I cannot wait!

I am off to trot the hounds and make myself presentable for the handsome sect of the Filthy and Gorgeous posse. Time to transform from the Dating Misanthrope to the Bar Star!

If I don't remember, did it really happen??

Friday am after Thursday night happy hour. The all too familiar sensation of waking in a haze of nausea and pounding headache. Then the waves of memories of the previous evenings events adding to the sickening feeling......open eyes. HOLY SHIT! Male in my bed......Fearfully inspect closer. Phew! It is my friend, The Actor who just made sure I got home ok. (a quick mental inventory of the neither regions confirmed they were intact and had not recently done a tour of duty). Think I was drugged, again. My recollection of the previous evening goes blank at a certain point (when my drink slipped out of my hand at Firefly....glass and Kettel One EVERYWHERE. Little minions swept in to clean up my mess and END SCENE). Whatever happened next is anyone's guess...but from the fact I awake in my own bed, clothed and not recently violated with The Actor, I infer I didn't do anything that will go on my permanent record. Wouldn't that be nice to wake up every day with no recollection of previous events?? No pining away for lost loves. Wishing I had the abs I had a mere 5 years ago. Every time being the first time. I have thought this must be what it is like to have Down's Syndrome. When I go to the grocery store, I have one bagger I particularly like, Ron. He is retarded. He is ALWAYS happy. He ALWAYS has a clean joke. He ALWAYS has a nice thing to say. He is exceptionally upbeat on Hawaiian shirt days. On bad days, I have envied him. What a simple and uncomplicated life he has and he seems genuinely content with the hand he has been dealt. I wish I could say the same. The Jew used to say, it isn't the living that is hard, it is the learning (the only part of that relationship that is worth remembering.) As much knowledge as I gain from these fucked up experiences, I never seem to have what I need when faced with the next one. I am wise beyond my years. I am tired of learning. You know times are tough when you covet retardation.