For one tiny minute......

So I just heard from the Screenwriter. I presume that his "company" has gone and from the tepid text I just got from him my guess would be that he has had his pipes thoroughly cleaned and he's just not that into me. Oh well, was fun to think about for a tiny minute but back to reality. I am annoyed really. Whatever the case, the dirty thoughts he has inspired must be flying through space right now. I have been contacted by Skeptic, San Fran and the Cracker over the last week. It is like I am sending out the "slut satellite" to any that are tuned into my frequency. Tonight, I am going to see a band with a group of friends at Cafe Cordillair just staggering distance from my pad. Very convenient. Tomorrow, I am going to a housewarming party for my buddy Mr. Lexis. Should be fun, his friends are all really cool. Thinking there will be some guitar hero action. Other than that, I may go try my hand at Thai curry over at HottieEsq's house this weekend. Maybe I will finally get all of my closets cleaned out and my junk over to Goodwill. Nah, that would be just too productive.

Mo' Jo

My juices must be flowing. NBC Exec met me and HottieEsq out at the Chimney Sweep last night. I will say, the novelty of being a Sweep VIP will never wear off. HottieEsq and I were gestured to the front of the line by our favorite bartender there. We walked in with the requisite hair flip in the faces of those still relegated to the indignity of standing in line to get into this dump. HottieEsq was already tipsy (thinking of that song now, everybody gettin' tipsy) which made the walk somewhat interesting...she bounced off several poles, bushes and wandered into the street at one point but we made it in one piece. NBC Exec met us inside and he was similarly buzzed having just returned from some Golden Globe event. He was randy....I felt like I was one of those cartoon character pork chops and he was the slobbering wolf looking to snap it up. We spent the night flirting via text...gotta love technology. I teeeeeased him mercilessly. I have no intention of hooking up with him for several reasons but it was fun nonetheless. I made him crazy which was plenty satisfying for me. HottieEsq decided the tables on the outside patio would be a great place to take a nappy so we decided to leave. This morning she is still not understanding why the bouncer might have a problem with that, seemed a perfectly reasonable course of action to her. Got her sorry ass up to my sofa and stopped talking to her once she started babbling nonsequitur sentences. Continued to text NBC Exec until about 2:30. Should have given him something to wrap his arms around.....or hand in this instance. All in all, it was a very fun night and I am loving my new found Mojo. I missed it!

Bum Deal

They say your external environment reflects your internal environment. Looking around my apartment I realize that I am a fucking mess. I am wondering if this is a sign of some sort of mental illness or that I have just given up caring. Like wearing sweatpants all the time. That is the fashion equalivent I think. So, I met the Screenwriter last night and he was very cute in real life. I haven't heard from him today so I am thinking that is not a good sign. Insert deep sigh here________. I have been a little obsessed with him this week and my work has suffered. I will say he gives a mighty fine mind fuck. Just having sex on the brain has had some unanticipated side effects; pheramones a go go! I have been hit on so many times this week it is unbelievable! I was invited to swing with a couple here in the SFV, cute guy at the grocery store, a customer even. Sadly, I only have eyes for the Screenwriter now. Who isn't calling. Ugh! I am trying to find some sort of ironic twist or meaningful connection for this blog entry but it ain't coming to me. This just sucks. Skeptic teased me last Friday with the potential for sex, then blew me off. And a blast from the past, the Animator is sniffin' round again. He dumped me for a 22yr old so I don't think I am going to go back there. Interesting beginning to the New Year....everything old is new again and the new is getting old. Hey, that was some sort of insightful commentary?? Maybe I still got it.

An embarassment of male riches

Oh decisions decisions.....my neighbor's friend, Mr. June Lake, is in town this week. Night before last, there was a pounding at my door, I opened it to see the uber hot JL holding a HUGE wedding picture up....told me it made him think about me. JL is honestly, the funniest person I have ever met. We have spent some time drinking beer with JL the human cartoon character/comedian entertaining us over the years. He dropped the picture and shamelessly grabbed me and while adeptly grabbing my ass, planted one (full on tongue) before I knew what had hit me. JL always finds a need to take off his shirt around me, revealing a smoking hot and cut bod with the coolest tattoos across his broad and muscular shoulders (has the entire "Where the Wild Things Are" book tattooed across his shoulders in black and white. Really cool. ) We had a couple of beers when he began the flattery, he doesn't understand how his friend can live next to such a smoking hot chick and not try to tap that! (Wow. Swoon.) He is only here for a couple of days with a thin wall separating us.....I will not lie when I say I am very tempted to let the rumpus begin with JL. ME-OW! Today, I have a date with Skeptic (albeit a brief one, he has allowed about 2-3 hours for me.) It seems he is coming out of his funk a touch and we will see where this goes, if anywhere. Finally, San Fran will be here Saturday. I am surprised that I am actually excited to see him. It has been two months since I saw him on my birthday. So this is how it goes, famine to a feast of muscular male flesh. Could it be that I am getting my mojo back? Dare I hope?

Oh No he didn't.........

Oh HELL no! Here is the email I just got from Dolphin Man;

Kat, my sexiest love,

Nice hearing from you yesterday, Kat. Good to hear you are feeling better. I'm looking forward to getting together again after your Vegas trip, perhaps later next week. I want both uf us to be in top health when we meet, though! I want us both to totally & completely enjoy our time, conversations & experience together, OK???

Oh yes, sorry for exposing too much of my chest at dinner! I can't believe I looked like such a slut! I'll wear my starched priest's outfit next time we meet, unless you have another dress style you prefer...just say the word, cutie! And yes, I thoroughly enjoyed your plunging, so naughtily "oopsy" revealing 50's dress! It was very, very entertaining & alluring. You do that very, very well... DAMN NAUGHTY TEASER! By the way, I'm at dolphinman@iamafag.com if for any reason you don't have time to communicate by gracing me over the phone with your soft, sexy voice....Stay well & keep in close, close touch,

Yours, Dolphin Man

Guess the slutty June Cleaver dress works.....a little too well. I will have to make sure to only bust that for a man that I know can handle it. So, this guy goes into the blocked call list. G-r-0-S-S!!!!

Broken Gaydar

Sunday morning. Dogs chomping at the bit to go outside, me nursing a fat cup of very black and thick coffee and reflecting on Saturday night. Sexual Chocolate had a bbq yesterday afternoon. Regular cast of characters there; Duke, Boobalicious, the Cheap Guy (that stuck me with the tab last time he went out with us), Cool Ron and the rest of the SC posse. Good peeps. SC is pretty proficient in the kitchen and around the grill. (I am somewhat pissed he has never invited me over for dinner before! Now that I know the kid has skills believe me I will be pushing this issue.) Unfortunately, I had to blow out of the bbq early as I was going to the Dodger's game with Boy Gorgeous and the Trainer followed by a trip to the comedy club in Hollywood to see one of their hometown boys perform in a satiric political round table discussion. We got to the Trainer's house and decided to bag the Dodger game due to the chilly weather (what a bunch of pussies we are, we are all from the Midwest!) We hung out for a bit discussing everything from Hepatitis C to homemade tattoos.....salmonella to moisturiser (the Trainer is a former construction worker turned metro sexual). We then went to the comedy club to watch a bunch of uninformed Liberal bleeding hearts bash our American way of life. Pointing fingers at those of us who drive sport utilities (which I do) and keep the machine of capitalism working by consuming the latest and greatest gadgets (which I do), blaming us for the "war on oil"......actually made me angry. BG leaned over and was like, "I like stuff. Why is that wrong?" I replied that was why we lived here and not Iran to which we clinked our glasses in a conservative band of superiority to the Liberals that, admittedly, would be riding their bikes home from the club. (oh yeah, well I hope your moral indignation keeps you warm on the long cold bike ride home.....me, I will be rolling in the Infinity sport utility with my heated leather seats hugging my ass. by the way, pull another bong why don't you!) Moreover, do we not have a moral obligation to step in and crush a regime which uses gang rape as a method of controlling their population, horrific torture.......let's get real, Saddam is a bad guy and did bad things to innocent people. Protecting our way of life, sending a message to potential terrorists and standing up for people that are so disenfranchised they cannot do that for themselves is not a war for oil. Our government, the war, not perfect but there is nowhere better to live on the planet than here. I will get off my soap box now......so my mojo is so broken, I ended up speaking with a comedian for the rest of the evening and I thought we were getting along very well. I was surprised when at the end of the night, he didn't ask for my number. In the car, BG and the Trainer commented on how gay he was. Gay!??!? A. how could I have missed that and B. why didn't they tell me I was wasting my time and my A material on a gay man?? I am going to get ready....going to a punk rock knitting event at my LY S (local yarn store for those of you unfamiliar with knitting terminology) and then watch the Red Sox game with Skeptic. I am not even hoping for sex.

Worst Weekend Ever

I know this is the ultimate in hubris to think that anyone would want to read about my dating life. My experiences are always weird and fucked up and would only happen to me. What I would like to see happen is have my many fabulous male and female friends contribute so we may begin to develop a dating strategy. Boy Gorgeous (names have been changed to protect the innocent, um, sort of in this case) and I began flushing out this idea this weekend, we will be calling it developing your Dating Mantality. "He's just not that into you" is all well and good, but by the time you figure that out, you have put out, gotten attached, perhaps started doodling his name......may be some sort of consolation but the damage has already been done. Dating, especially in LA, is war my friends and I know I need to develop an emotional flack jacket. I could use your help. Ok, we are going to begin with The Boy experience which kicked off what is soon to be known as the Worst Weekend Ever. Had a fabulous date Thursday night with The Boy including sushi, sake and some nice Cab afterward at my place. Such a good looking boy, funny, a poet and soon to be filmmaker.....one thing leads to another and of course I put out. Friday, awake to round 3, or 4?? Oj in bed and then off to work for me and off to school for him (admittedly I was robbing the cradle on this one). As he leaves, he blows me a kiss. I blow him a kiss which he catches and puts in his pocket. So sappy and cute, I ate it up. "Bye Gorgeous, call you later!" and he was off. Sigh. Good times. Fast forward to dinner Friday night, at Mexicali drinking margs and telling my gf about my debauched and fab night and who walks in? (come on, play along) The Boy. With? A girl. And? Her parents!!!!! They are seated a mere two top away to my right, with The Boy facing me. What the fuck are the chances of that?? (It has been noted by Mr. Fantastic that God doesn't allow me even ten consecutive hours of happiness.) At one point, I go to the bathroom and, of course, The Boy is alone in the extremely tight hallway. "She is my ex fiance and her parents who are visiting.......they don't know we broke up...sure I told you....yadda yadda". I mustered all of the adult composure I could and replied with, "it is fine, you don't owe me any explanation. Just incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. You aren't my boyfriend. What the FUCK IS TAKING THAT CHICK SO LONG IN THE BATHROOM?!?!". I just wanted this mortifying moment to end. Which it did, and I did my thing and returned to the table in time to watch the chick fawn all over him. My friends arrived and gave him the death glare. John said they had to have known something was up because The Boy was being stared down by four people and you could cut the tension with a knife. Sarah wished she were there so she could have called him a dirty ballsucker in front of his company. (Love her!!) We leave, I get the 10:30 "I am so sorry" call, "need to make it up to you". In retrospect, I think he was just trying to find out where I was so he could avoid it and go out with his, ahem, "ex" fiance. Promised to call by noon the next day with some big plan. Must have been some miscommunication, I still haven't gotten the call. Think I should hold Sat night for him?