WWABD?

It is Monday and I am exhausted today. I was thinking last night that I really wanted to go to sleep, but if I did it would be Monday. My job is becoming the Freddie Kruger of my Sunday nights, don't go to bed...just DON'T GO TO SLEEP! I have been working to keep my pipeline full. I have been dating like a fool. I went out with the Handicapped guy. He is incredibly good looking, funny, smart...but ultimately I am too shallow to date someone with an extreme handicap. BBFF is back in the picture. I knew he would come back eventually. He is Sex Meat and Potatoes, the smart choice on a variety of levels. Freakishly Tall Guy has been throwing some mad mixed messages. He gets very boyfriendy....yet I haven't rated a weekend date for three weeks now. He has "friends" and "they" are staying over, or he is staying with a "friend" in Santa Monica and "they" are going to take him to the airport, or this next Saturday we have plans which he will have to leave to help his "friend" set up for a wedding at 7pm and "they" asked him for help months ago. I get that I am just a pleasurable toy for him, I just don't like to have my nosed rubbed in it. There are two things I do not suffer well in this world; fools and liars. He is treating me like a fool and he is lying. As Hunter S. Thompson said, "In a world of thieves, the final sin is stupidity." I would like to make sure I do not fall into that category. I have other tunas on the hook, I will write more at those stories unfold. My new inspiration for coquettish fuckery is Anne Boleyn and I find myself trying to quash my gut reaction and ask myself, WWABD? I am cultivating my inner minx and it is working......let's hope I don't lose my head!

Bondage Bonsai!

I am much more lucid today than last night. I met so many amazing people and had such a nice night. As I am rolling endless ears of corn in tin foil for the BBQ I am going to I can't help but think about how much I would like to be experiencing this weekend with someone special. I can be pretty cold and tough, but this BBFF not calling me thing has had me borderline weepy all week. He is a great guy, juxtaposed with Freakishly Tall Guy that wants to do some very filthy sexual activities with me. I am kinky for sure, but what he is suggesting pushes my boundaries. Sex parties, fetish clubs and threesomes! Oh my! What a lucky girl I am. I have some pretty purient sexual desires as is. What if I try these things and start to really really like them? I don't need to try crack to know I will likely enjoy it very much and become addicted. Why am I contemplating elevating Freakishly Tall Guy from Sex Candy to Sex Crack? It has proven impossible for me to find someone I want to be with. Imagine if I add, "turning me into Shibari Barbie" to the list of "must haves." I will be totally fucked! I have a week to decide. I need to leave and enjoy a weiner of an entirely different kind with the Filthy and Gorgeous Posse. Hope all of you are having as nice a holiday weekend as mine is shaping up to be.

How Am I So Fucking Stupid...Still??

In what I am sure is an exercise in futility.....I wait for BBFF to call. On an intellectual level, I know he won't. The teenage girl inside still holds out hope. There hasn't been any communication since I texted him Wednesday saying, "You either really suck at this or you don't like me. You going to ask me out again?" He replied back, "Aggressive, I like that. And I do suck at this. Call you Monday." Monday? WTF? I just find it so hard to believe I was so wrong about this. I cannot be that retarded!!!! I will let you know if the extremely unlikely happens. Sigh. I am so sick of this shit.

UPDATE: 11 PM and no call. I knew it. Went to the Sweep and met KnitStar and her Ex for a drink. Ended up talking to the band leader from American Idol. Super cool guy, lives in the neighborhood and we are going to have a drink at some later date. On my walk back, some creepy guy was following me in his car shouting out the window at me. "You're cute, what's your name, what are you doing all by yourself?" It flipped me out. I initially ignored him, then told him to leave me along, finally telling him to FUCK OFF! "Cunt! Better watch who you shoot your mouth off to!" as he went to do another U-turn to get to my side of the street. Pretty scary shizzle, I must say. I crossed the street and ducked thru the courtyard to a neighboring building which lets out in the alley behind my apartment. I quickly (while shaking!) got my gate key out....I could see him cruising the streets looking for me. Awesome!

FAIL

To be or not to be? THAT is the question. I am on beer ten bajillion.....shall I add beer ten bajillion and one to the equation? (Don't mind if I do!) As night time Kat ALWAYS fucks over day time Kat we say MILLER TIME! I am ripshit fucked up. I have so many great ideas on what I want to talk about. I will just rant tonight. I am exhausted, five days straight of travel. I clipped myself in the eye with the mascara brush this morning and looked super stoned all day...burning eyes. I worked for 14 hours....didn't eat and then starting drinking the second I got home. I cannot believe BBFF hasn't called. I am genuinely devistated. I have to close one eye when I type to read this. 100% FAIL for the week. Now I start to hiccup. I should put that last bit on my family Christmas card.

Hump Day Sucks

This week is proving to be pure misery for the girl here. I am travelling every day. Talked on the phone until 1:30 last night and got super drunk. This morning came around....well, I want to die. So, BBFF hasn't called. I am not supposed to know this but he is going out with his ex this weekend. They were together for 14 years and she still has her claws in him. Evidentially, she is trying to get 15 grand out of him for a recent shopping spree. Not sure how to handle this situatuation. Suggestions?

Baaaa means no...

I have had a lot happen this week, and I have been worked to death. I saw Freakishly Tall Guy for some sex candy. I am a bit worried, I think he may have baited and switched me with the condom.....I have my reasons but will protect you innocents from graphic details. Needless to say, I am flipped out and likely not going to see him again. What is somewhat flattering, Freakishly Tall Guy spent over an hour after I left searching for my blog. To no avail. Friday, went out with Duke, Boobs, Mellow to the Sagebrush. Worst band ever playing...and we got drunk. Mellow's wife has been out of town for a week and he was uncharacteristically dirty. I asked, "come on now, it has only been a week, how bad can it be?" And he replied, "There are some sheep that graze the hill behind my house. Let me just say, they have a worried look on their face." The quote of the evening was Duke's reply, "Mellow, I am going to get you a shirt that says, BAAAA means NO!" Saturday night I had a date with BBFF. I drove to Hunting Beach to meet him at Savannah's. It was a lovely restaurant on the beach. We had a delightful time, filet and pinot. After dinner, I guess I rated date package number 1. He mentioned he had a bottle of wine and blankets in his car and suggested we collect them and hit the beach. We arranged our stuff and talked forever, he was quite funny and seems smitten with me. I told him during the course of our conversation that what I knew about men could fill a thimble. He said it was quite a coincidence, as his manhood could actually fill a thimble. We kissed, and rolled around in the sand..just magical. He whispered in my ear, "I know what you are thinking now?" Yes? "thimble." He was witty and handsome and well..I may be smitten too. I have to say, BBFF is very intruiging to me. To use verbiage from my old sorority days, I may just suicide. Let's see if he feels the same.
AN ASIDE: Happy Father's Day! I called my daddy (yes ChiBird, I still call my dad daddy too) to wish him a Happy Father's Day!!!!! Evidentially, while sucking face with BBFF my phone decided to randomly call him, twice. Guess I left a nice couple of messages for my dad who still thinks I am a virgin. Sweet!

Only mildly agitated (cannot afford shaken or stirred)

I am a baller on a budget, and this week has been a good one for the recessionista that I have (had to) become. Wednesday, AppleBottom and I had cocktails with another friend, who expensed the check! (Who has an expense account these days?) Friday, we went dancing at Cafe Cordilaire with AppleBottom and KnittingFriend. The club looks like the painting from the beginning of Good Times, we were the only white people there. Band was off the chain! Everything from Fitty Cent to Curtis Mayfield (I went bananas!) When the bill came, this rather large black man took care of it for us. I grabbed AppleBottom's ass and thanked her delicious booty for the free drinks...over a hundos worth! Saturday was my company Angles game. Again, AppleBottom, KnittingFriend, SuperHotV all accompanied me. This is the only day of the year I get to boss my boss, "Put some cheese on that burger NOW, bitch!" We tailgated and missed most of the game. Boss's best friend (BBFF) started chatting me up. We got kicked out of the park and ended up at some sports bar in OC. Had a blast....great people, great conversation is my thing. When I got home, I noticed that my OfficeManager was blowing up my phone, BBFF was begging her for my number, "love at first sight" he said. I told her to go ahead and give it to him. He called and we talked until 3 am...potentially career ending. What will go down as the Worst Idea Ever, I am going to go out with him.